You have to listen, but you also need to share your own perspective. Learn how to have the conversations that strengthen your relationships with the people who matter most in your life. Is this work challenging? This can be a very uncomfortable position to be in, but when this unknown territory gets explored more frequently it will become natural. In Start with Why (2009), Simon Sinek connects the health of a business to its core values. (n.d.). Master the courage to interrogate reality ; 2. It’s easy to avoid difficult conversations in order to keep a relationship going; however, that doesn’t solve the problem and just makes things worse. Make the Conversation Real – don’t allow your personal wall to block who you truly are to others. Solve them as they come up, but don’t dwell on them or you … Be courageous and do your research. Despite a 2017 update, she doesn’t talk about instant messaging as much as you’d expect, which may show her being out of touch with the times. Remember that everything you say affects someone else emotionally, be conscious about how, when and what you say. “If we wish to accomplish great things in our organizations and in our lives, then we must come to terms with a basic human need: We must recognize that humans share a universal longing to be known and, being known, to be loved.”(Scott, 2004). The first way is to recognize the other person’s situation. Boris Groysberg and Michael Slind researched leadership by interviewing more than 150 managers about their management style, which they call “organizational conversation.” This style focuses on communication above all else. Focus on being Fierce – Don’t focus on being the boss; focus on the relationship between you and your employees. What was learned? Speak and listen as if this is the most important conversation you will ever have with this person. Fierce Conversations is a must-have in today’s fast-paced world. What's special about Shortform: Sound like what you've been looking for? fierce® CONVERSATIONS Post-Training Discussion MANAGER GUIDE Coaching Conversations teaches how to have developmental coaching conversations using the Mineral Rights Model. “I want to talk with you about the effect that [a specific behavior or situation] is having on [me, our family, the team].”2. Emails are inferior choices and should only be used as a last resort. If you’ve ever felt the need to have an important conversation, but couldn’t bring yourself to it, this book is for you. Susan Scott is the founder of Fierce, Inc., a company that helps companies improve their cultures through different kinds of conversations. This promotes resolution, rather than the person playing the blame game. Live in the moment and focus on what’s going on right now. Overall, Fierce Conversations is a very well-structured and thought out book. Check for agreement – once the other person’s reality is expressed, we must express ours and discuss if both realities agree with each other. Fierce Conversations is a way of conducting business. Harvard Business School professors Leslie K John and Alison Wood Brooks argue that success lies in asking appropriate questions: open-ended ones are best for exploratory conversations like job interviews or brainstorming sessions, where participants’ thought processes are as important as the ideas themselves; targeted ones are better for eliciting specific information, such as from lawyers questioning defendants; follow up ones can help demonstrate interest or even ability with certain subjects. Determine the current impact – how is this issue affecting my life, how it impacts others and how it makes me feel emotionally. It’s a great idea to stay focused and not let our minds drift so that we don’t live fully here. Susan argues this by showing that we are who we are, everywhere we go. People should give their full attention and close any devices they’re using, such as laptops or cell phones. David C. Wyld (dwyld.kwu@gmail.com) is the Robert Maurin Professor of Management at Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond, Louisiana. Decision trees are useful for categorizing decisions and making them more transparent. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time (originally published in 2002, and revised in 2017) is a self-help guide about the importance of frank, empathetic communication. A way of life. Fierce Conversations is an approach to enriching relationships and improving results. Fierce conversations principle 5: Trust your instincts (and be the CEO of you) ‘Don’t just trust your instincts. Books like Fierce Conversations, Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations and more recently, Conversational Intelligence and The Power of … Leaf Decisions:  Make the decision and act upon it. The Principles of Conversation. Don’t allow interruptions. The author believes that people are often not very good communicators, which leads to problems. Author Susan Scott believes that, too often, personal and professional conversations are unproductive, or … 2. Silence gives time to reflect on and identify the problem at hand, rather than the effect of everything that has happened as a result. Intuition is not guesswork. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time (originally published in 2002, and revised in 2017) is a self-help guide about the importance of frank, empathetic communication. Fierce is about getting results, reality, provoking learning, tackling tough challenges, and building relationships through the art and craft of conversation.”. Goulston and Ullmen recommend three ways to build mutual understanding. 7. Take their word for it that they have a problem. Susan founded Fierce in 2001 after 13 years leading CEO think tanks and more than 10,000 hours of conversations with senior executives. How to increase clarity and improve understanding. Susan Scott; 2 The 7 principles of Fierce Conversations. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time (originally published in 2002, and revised in 2017) is a self-help guide about the importance of frank, empathetic communication. We can stand beside your current programs and probably can replace some of them as well. * How can we get honest answers from the people around us if they’re not willing to share them or are too afraid to speak out against us for fear of losing their jobs/status in society/etc.? Relationships will fail unless the other person expresses how they feel or what they’re thinking. * What issues do my conversations avoid at work and at home? Rather than saying “but,” use the word “and.” Look at the situation from everyone’s perspective before judging them or yourself. Communications expert Susan Scott maintains that a single conversation can change the trajectory of a career, marriage or life. Strong Teams want the truth. Having this fierce conversation with my mother helped to make the invisible visible. These fierce conversations may even be able to mend relationships that are already deteriorating. When speaking to people one-on-one to resolve an issue, it’s important to have a well-planned and thought out opening statement which, as Susan suggested, should last 60 seconds. Therefore, determine what the facts are behind each event? Title: Fierce Conversations 1 Fierce Conversations. Different product lines or departments have slightly different realities, so leaders should seek out those differences when trying to understand their businesses as a whole. Key Point 6: One must treat the cause of an issue, not its symptoms. They are meant for individuals to be leaders, to speak and … Maybe things are good at home and work, but you still have to be careful with what’s being said in conversations because they can affect the outcome of those situations too. Susan Scott runs the consulting practice Fierce Conversations Inc. She founded Fierce in 2001 after 10,000 hours of conversations with executives and CEO think tanks. The caveat is not to just use any old question; the questions should be thoughtful and elicit the right kind of information. Author Susan Scott believes that, too often, personal and professional conversations are unproductive, or even counter-productive. It means powerful or intense conversations. Big customers go bust, star employees leave for greener pastures, new technology makes you an anachronism and competition kicks you out of the ring. When there is a whole lot of talking going on, conversations can be empty. The first of which was the word “fierce,” which is defined as: robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, unbridled. Instead, include everyone by saying “and”. ― Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time. However, the structure of Mr. Siegfried’s review was a little dramatized and over-the-top. Another example of negative reinforcement might be giving someone more responsibility if they do something well, which could then lead to a promotion or raise. Inquire into your partner’s views – this is the part where listening is most important. People’s realities are always changing. Don’t worry about problems that are not immediate. The result is a clearing of the air, a breaking of tension. 1-Page Summary of Fierce Conversations Principles to Speak by. We live in the present moment, but we can’t live anywhere else. Even better, it helps you remember what you read, so you can make your life better. He argues that an organization’s strategy should always be an extension of those core values. For example, when developing the 2004 Sienna minivan, the chief engineer organized a road trip across North America that covered over 50k miles in all. He also serves as the Director of the Reverse Auction Research Center (http://reverseauctionresearch.blogspot.com/), a hub of research and news in the expanding world of competitive bidding. The most important thing about interrogating reality while engaging in fierce conversation is to avoid laying blame. The author is one of the most brilliant people around, because: She wrote her book in terms that could be understood by anyone, and gave more than adequate examples to support her information. Reminding us that "the conversation is the relationship," she counsels us to speak with clarity, conviction, and compassion.”(Barnes & Noble), Both reviews were accurate generalizations of the book and did highlight several important points about it. She seems suspicious of technology and how it helps us communicate with each other. Retrieved from Barnes & Noble: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Fierce-Conversations/Susan-Scott/e/9780425193372/?itm=1&USRI=fierce+conversations+achieving+success+at+work. Behind the curtain, dirt and grime … Susan emphasizes that if a topic is brought up by someone else, even though it may appear to be pointless or off-topic to us, it must be important to them or have some deeper meaning related to the issue at hand. Learning how to have a Fierce Conversation will allow for more Don’t procrastinate. Be Prepared to be Nowhere Else – When we devote our attention to nothing else than the words being spoken, and the person speaking them, we acknowledge the importance of what they have to offer and their existence. Someone once said, “If you’re drilling for water, it’s better to drill a 100-foot well than 100 one-foot wells.” It’s important to get down to the main issue and focus on that topic. Pay attention to every conversation you have. I’ll apply what I’ve learned in this book in my career by: 1. Sometimes when we avoid confronting our problems over and over again, it creates a feedback loop where the avoidance behavior is repeated endlessly until it becomes hard to break the pattern. Encourage yourself to create a passionate and lasting relationship with someone else, or an employee, by relating to what they have to say. They also believe that a leader’s role is to create an environment where people feel comfortable talking with one another, regardless of their position in the company. Susan Scott; 2 The 7 principles of Fierce Conversations. The curtain is a metaphor for hidden things not fit for public consumption. This includes confrontations, asking for favors and even offering positive feedback. She added a good mixture of serious, in-depth elaboration of a topic and mixed it with a splash of humor throughout. A human resources staffer won’t have the same point of view as a salesperson. Take a break and make a conscious effort to be straightforward and honest by saying things like “What I just said isn’t quite right; let me see if I can get closer to what I really want to say.”. Siegfried, D. (n.d.). If you’ve ever felt the need to have an important conversation, but couldn’t bring yourself to it, this book is for you. Fierce conversation is not about mastering persuasion and convincing others to succumb to my personal way of thinking. Fierce Conversations dwells on the act of listening. * They’re sensitive, so be careful with your words. You can use the above statement in a conversation you need to have with someone. Use the Mineral Rights Guideline – When dealing with a problem or complex issue, use Mineral Rights as your tool for indentifying, clarifying and taking appropriate action. Whenever we say the word ‘but’ everything else we just said before then gets forgotten and thrown out the window.”, Come Out from Behind Yourself into the Conversation and Make It Real, “You cannot have the life you want, make the decisions you want, or be the leader you are capable of being until your actions represent an authentic expression of who you really are, or who you wish to become.”(Scott, 2004). * The consequences or implications of this behavior. Reading this book made me think differently about the topic in these ways: 1. The third technique is solution awareness – describing some action steps that can be taken in order to improve things. Although some may be difficult to follow at times, they are certainly important to consider for the sake of your organization, personal relationships and yourself. You got to this point one conversation at a time. Fierceness is not about barbarity, but about intensity, strength, power and passion. Finally, there needs to be intentionality, or having clear goals for each conversation so everyone knows what they’re talking about. Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change – examples are important, so be sure to think of an example that best supports your issue. They involve bringing those brutally honest and sometimes painful subjects to the surface with your coworkers, your spouse, and especially yourself. To do this, they say you must foster intimacy by creating opportunities for open dialogue between employees and management; promote interactivity by encouraging employees to ask questions during meetings; emphasize inclusion by including everyone in decision-making processes; and be intentional about fostering connections between your team members. For me, the conversation gave me a huge dose of self-confidence, a result I hadn't expected beforehand. You'll love my book summary product Shortform. In this summary of Fierce Conversations, you will learn: How to overcome the barriers to meaningful communication. Sitting slouched in a chair, avoiding eye contact and staring at the wall shows lack of interest and tells the other person that you aren’t really interested in what he or she has to say. In your next conversation, pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. Choose to be authentic. Your determination to change the situation. At first glance of the title, I expected to learn to be a ruthless and feared opponent in debates. 2 likes. Do the hard things right away, and they’ll be easier to do. Finally, relationships should be strengthened by talking with one another. Shortform: The World's Best Book Summaries, Shortform Blog: Free Guides and Excerpts of Books. If poor decisions are made, it could potentially harm or destroy the organization in the long run. Obey your intuition, but don’t force yourself to be logical or objective when you’re trying to understand something that doesn’t make sense logically or objectively. One person’s reality may be different than another person’s; it relies on truth, which it held by both people. The case studies from her consulting practice are very instructive. 2. These previous seven principles that Susan elaborated on in Fierce Conversations are the basic tools needed to engage in fierce conversation with other people. Tell the truth and let the truth be told in every conversation you have with others. 8. The idea behind fierce conversations is to come to terms with reality. One way to get at the bottom of a problem is through root-cause analysis (RCA), which involves asking why until you understand the true source of an issue. Don’t persuade yourself that your instincts are incorrect, or as some say “uneducated thinking.”  Examine and evaluate more than surface evidence; look forclue or hints in body language, intent and emotion behind another person’s words. Clarify the issue What’s going on? Candid or “fierce” conversations are usually avoided under the pretext that fierce conversations take too long – however, Scott points out that anything other than truthful conversations take a lot more time. Fierce Conversations Summary. She also pulled from personal experiences in her life, including interviews with people close to her. For example, if you’re talking with an underperforming employee, you might acknowledge the reasons for that performance (such as losing a key team member). You cannot be here, prepared to be nowhere else, when you are interrupted by beeps, and buzzes. Identify your contribution to this problem – recognize any position you may have played in provoking or prolonging the issue. Fierce conversations do not mean cruel, brutal or angry conversations. Funneling questions are more specific and go deeper into the topic at hand. * Look at the person you’re talking to. Taking a little more time to properly identify an issue will be less costly and more rewarding in the long run. “Fierce conversations’ mission is:  Change the world– one conversation at a time.”(Scott, 2004), http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlAOGisORgQ. Meaningful conversations include breathing space. Slow down the conversation, so that insight can occur in the space between words and you can discover what the conversation really needs to be about. Think about how that happened and take responsibility for your situation. Tackle your toughest challenge today ; 5. She argues that by engaging in thoughtful discussions with others, we can fix problems as they arise instead of letting them reach a crisis point. If our eyes roam the room while they speak in an uninterested manner; they will not feel appreciated and feel as if their contribution to the company or relationship is not valid. Susan relates conversations to being like a beach ball, which is divided in four sections and a different color on each. Fierce conversations principle 5: Trust your instincts (and be the CEO of you) ‘Don’t just trust your instincts. 3. Fierce conversations start with you and how you show up. Confrontation Model (from Fierce Conversations) OPENING STATEMENT. The importance of recognizing the existence of another person and valuing their reality is key to fierce conversation and the value of relationships that form, or deepen, because of them. Master the Courage to Interrogate Reality. One principle of that system is “genchi genbutsu,” a Japanese phrase that roughly translates to “go and see for yourself.” It means leaders need to collect firsthand knowledge about a given situation or problem rather than just read reports or invite people into their offices for lofty discussions. (p .8) • Fierce conversations are about moral courage, clear requests, and taking action. Tackle your toughest challenge today ; 5. Values are often not emphasized as much because they aren’t as tangible or concrete. Source: Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott The starting point is a fierce conversation with yourself about your values and hopes, with enough time for silence within oneself before beginning to engage others. Root-cause analysis is limited because many problems have multiple causes. According to the author, it means “one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversations and make it real.” It simply means telling what you really feel and being real. Obey them’, Susan Scott states in principle five of her Fierce Conversations book.. Fierce Inc. is committed to corporate, individual, and large-scale transformation models through principles of better conversation. Susan begins the book by first establish the meaning of “fierce” with the reader. Dodging the problem or issue will do nothing but prolong the dilemma and allow the most extreme result to come of it. He is a management consultant, researcher/writer, and executive educator. These words, written by Susan, sank very deeply when I first read them. Sometimes we make comments that may have caused someone to suffer emotional collapse, and also speak words of inspiration for someone later in life. This is a 6-page professional summary of this book, not the full book itself. * Don’t drop conversations because of time constraints. She is very open about the fact that she gives her clients advice on both sides of their lives, as well as private issues such as their spouses and problems with substance abuse. Fierce Conversations Summary. His blog, Wyld About Business, can be viewed at http://wyld-business.blogspot.com/. When you think of a fierce conversation, think passion, integrity, authenticity, and collaboration. Fierce Inc. is committed to corporate, individual, and large-scale transformation models through principles of better conversation. * A solution for the problem, in which I will do something about it. The beginning; it was a slow start and took time to gain speed. Cover what you can and follow up later on the rest. Core idea: Conversations are central to any relationship - with colleagues, with business partners, with friends and families. Research suggests that people prefer conversational partners who ask questions because it demonstrates empathy, and professionally it’s a good way to gather information. Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real ; 3. Rewards can come in many forms, such as an afternoon off to make firing someone less scary. Toyota is famous for its production system, which formed the basis of lean management in North America. Describe the ideal outcome – what the desirable outcome from addressing and resolving the issue, and how we feel emotionally about such resolution. * Do I say things I don’t really mean, just to be polite? Find out whether the people you’re dealing with agree with your proposal. People often don’t express their true thoughts and feelings in a work setting because they feel that work should be left at work and personal life should be left at home. One approach to this issue is to reframe the problem. Conversations are important, so take responsibility for what you say to people even though some conversations may seem trivial at first glance. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else ; 4. Fierce is an attitude. Her perspective is also grounded in armchair psychology, especially the way people relate to one another. Fierce Conversations, Inc is a company that works with business and industry CEOs to help them be more effective leaders and build more effective teams. This happens because the causes of problems are not always obvious and require some digging to uncover. Scott advocates truthfulness because it is direct, it is effective, it saves time … But I like Susan Scott’s summary of the why in her more recent book, her “follow-up” to Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership: The conversation is the relationship. The book begins by establishing that “fierce” means honest and authentic, not savage or aggressive. Some offices conduct job interviews, team meetings and other important conversations via phone or video feed. The problem with focusing on these things is that workers don’t feel deeply connected to them and customers don’t feel loyal towards brands based on values alone. Things change and companies must adapt to those changes. Fierce conversations start with you and how you show up. 4. 1. A difficult conversation requires a true … Shortform has the world’s best summaries of 1000+ nonfiction books and articles. Some of the chapters were long and contained information that could potentially be a chapter of its own. Fierce Conversations is organized around seven core principles. Communications expert Susan Scott maintains that a single conversation can change the trajectory of a career, marriage or life. Fierce Conversations - Summary - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or view presentation slides online. Scott believes that emotion is more important than logic. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time is about the importance of open communication. A better than usual business book in opening up how much we can improve our relationships not through some strategic plan, but one authentic conversation at a … By listening to what others have to say, we are attempting to understand their interpretation of reality through empathy. Subscribe to get summaries of the best books I'm reading. Key Point 3: A successful business is built on candid conversations. It means powerful or intense conversations. Do it by setting yourself a deadline, writing down your opening statement on paper, and practicing saying it out loud. In her meetings with coworkers, Scott attacks the issues head-on, getting everyone to speak up about the things that he or she has been thinking but dares not say. Fierce Coaching builds on the ideas, objectives and principles of Fierce … Key Point 4: A good way to deepen and enhance interpersonal conversations is to ask questions. The author is committed to radical transparency. Showing complete interest in what another person has to say will not only produce the results you want, but it also encourages him or her to do the same in the future and establishes a strong relationship with that person. In any company, people have different perspectives on the same issue. For example, if I wanted to express the importance of something and don’t communicate or stress how important it really is to me, it may come off as a lack of interest. And don ’ t dwell on them handle strong emotions — on both and! Related conversations business operates and performs send you notes on entrepreneurship and summaries of the.! The conversations she refers to may be afraid of an issue, the... 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