In this section, we have plucked few dirty riddles for your crush for you. You put your hands on me and then go up and down. 7. If I miss, I hit your bush. Knock-knock jokes were never out of trend and people still love and appreciate them, every now and then. Ill fill your holes when you ask me to. I once let over 1000 different people inside me, until I was ripped open by something long and hard. What am I? For more fun, check out these what am I riddlesor warm up with some winter riddles. Everytime I come, it's news. 50. What am I? What do men have in their pockets that women cant get enough of, go crazy about, and love to get their hands on until it is fully spent? What am I? Reminded you of your trip to the dentist? Answer: A key. What am I? Some of these riddles appear to be dirty, but are just riddles that sound dirty to a dirty mind, while others simply leave no doubt and can only be said with a wink and a smile. 27. You put your hands on me the first thing in the morning. 57. I must warn you, this category is not for children. 23. What is soft and wet on the inside while hard and hairy on the outside? What am I?TentWhats long and hard when its young and soft and small when its old?A candle.What is the difference between a womans G-spot and a quarter?Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? When they find me, they break my head and take from me my resting bed. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I occasionally drip. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What is it? I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didnt know either.What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged.Whats a lesbians love language?Speaking in tongue.A dad tells his son Stop masturbating! What am I? Perfect for flirty couples and moments of romance, these dirty riddles with answers will ignite passion and light up the night with the fires of love. I am always hard when dry but smooth and soft when wet. The doctor walks in and says, I have some bad news. View Answer Discuss Dirty Riddles Clean Answers #5 - Dirty Adult Riddle Difficulty Popularity I'm spread before I'm eaten. How is this possible? Dirty Riddles with Answers What's a 5 letter word that starts with a "P" and women absolutely love to get their hands on it? Ben who?Ben down and lick my boots!Knock, knock.Whos there?Anita.Anita who?Anita you inside me.Knock, knock.Whos there?Dewey! You sometimes do it with yourself if you need to, but its a lot better when its with other people. This is the most requested article and we hope you will enjoy the most out of these Dirty Riddles that are only for you. What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesnt want on her face? Each day many people come and visit me, however, they usually only stay for a few minutes. How long does it take you to use them all? I have to be slippery for you to go down me. Im great for protection. Whats beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isnt trimmed regularly? Seeing whats between my hairy legs will make your skin crawl. What am I? What am I? What am I?Gloves.I assist with e**ctions. I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. tricky riddle funny riddle dirty adult humor. I come from nuts, can be very sticky and I taste amazing in your mouth. Sometimes, I drip a little. (King Fatefehi of Tonga). 43. 1. I prevent any little mistakes and Im made of rubber. These nasty riddles with answers can fuel passion and light up the night with the fires of love, making them ideal for flirtatious couples and romantic times. What am I? Thats why weve compiled this amazing collection of dirty riddles and answers available on the internet. What country in Asia has the largest semen producing men and therefore has the greatest chances of having lots of children? What am I? Im long, hard, and I point up. Who am I? I can be long and hard, or short and soft, But I always get the job done. Whats beautiful and natural but gets long and prickly if it isnt trimmed regularly? What am I? Some have theirs longer than others sometimes depending on where they come from. Innocent answer. 3. I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. 5. 2. What am I? 41. And if the mind so chooses, even the most innocent of questions will bring out your naughty side. Funny Riddles for Adults Woman's Day/Getty Images 1. Im a swinger with giant balls, and Im perfect at helping to get erect. What do you call a penis that claims hes not a crook but turns out to be one? What am I? You play with it at night and it vibrates. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, Your penis is bigger than your brothers.What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block?A beaver dam!What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common?They can both smell it but cant eat it.My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. What am I? My tip penetrates. What am I? 5. What am I? Show Answer Show Answer I am long, you move me around with your lips and tongue, I get wet with saliva and I get sucked. 12. Im 42 years of age, I literally have to hit it with nettles. 4. It's like gay Disney World." Noah There are so many things to love about Fire Island.First of all, it . Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. These are the best dirty riddles, jokes, and brain teasers for kids and adults. They came to a peach tree with 50 peaches. A boy had sex using protection. Its okay. Im known as a big swinger. This level of teasing is part of the fun. We understand that one of the perks of adulting is being able to be a little dirty while exercising your sexy brain. What am I? 2. The bigger I am, the louder you scream. I sit here collecting dust, I can wait forever to open me and you will not be disappointed, I can make you laugh, cry, and sad, I contain all the knowledge of the world, let me take you to a faraway land. Enjoy these dirty minded riddles for adults. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common?The more you play with it, the harder it gets.What three-letter word starts with an s, ends with x, and has a vowel in the middle?SixWhats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore.Why was the guitar teacher arrested?For fingering a minor.A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. Im afraid youre going to have to stop masturbating. I dont understand, doc, the patient says. For more such quirky stuff, check out ScoopWhoop Shop. 14. These are the best dirty riddles, jokes, and brain teasers for kids and adults. Funny Riddles 1. How much dirt is in a hole that was dug 5m deep and 6m wide? Im usually six inches long, roughly two inches wide, and everyone loves having me in their pants? Name a word that starts with f and ends with u-c-k? What is it? What am I? And, if you blow it, it feels like heaven. Next: 37+ Best What is it Riddles with Answers What is it Riddle 11. Like these riddles? I am gentle enough to soothe your skin, light enough to fly in the sky, and strong enough to crack rocks. But you probably cant tell in these trousers.Im spread out before being eaten. I always penetrate with the tip first and I always come with a quiver. You have to blow it to play with it. People use their hands to go up and down me, Im very long and very hard. I am sometimes long and sometimes short. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Why is a mans voice louder than a womans? Get our Weekly Riddles Round Up sent direct to your email inbox every week. 12. I have hundreds of legs but I can only lean; You make me feel dirty so you feel clean. But I can promise you that they are funny. What am I? Answer: Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. Whats the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.What goes in hard and comes out close and wet?Chewing gum.A guy is sitting at the doctors office. Entertain your classmates or share with your family. If you blow me, it feels really good. 13. I am more comfortable when wet and very unpleasant when dry. 40. What am I? 3. The first room is ablaze with fire. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow? Dirty Riddles for Adults. Your email address will not be published. The best man always has me first. Why is a happy sex life like a good steak? 6. What am I? What am I? 14. 62. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck.It starts with the letter P and ends in O.R.N. Released: 2022 Rated: R Memorable quote: "We're going to Fire Island. A born romantic? What broke first? This article was originally published on April 16, 2020, 100+ Easter Jokes And Puns For The Funny Bunnies In Your Life, 20+ Fun Spring Activities Your Kids (And You!) What am I? 11. Most people AND their significant others finger me on their first date. 7. What am I? You can go on top of me or underneath and I always involve a bed. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. . Use the following code to link this page: Because they can bleed for a week and still not die. What am I? Riddle: What kind of room has no doors or windows? 3. 35+ Best Bible Riddles with Answers . Answer: Bubble gum! What is it? Answer: Same middle name. What am I? 15. Explanation: Water can be in the form of a liquid, solid (ice), and/or a gas (water vapor) which is represented by "three lives". Answer: Your age. Funny Riddles with Answers What kind of cup has holes in it when it is new, is designed to withstand a heavy beating and should never be used for drinking? When I come, its news. People rub me and shake me sometimes. Dewey who?Dewey have a condom handy?Knock, knock.Whos there?Baghdad.Baghdad who?Id love to see you Baghdad butt up.Knock, knock.Whos there?Ivan. The staff at Riddles and Answers has done it again with this extensive set of dirty riddles for your adult enjoyment. You cant taste it until you undress it. I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. I look back as an adult and I think, Oh, she obviously wanted to empower me to find my own pleasure. It had the exact opposite effect there is no way you can enjoy yourself with a man between your legs if youre thinking, Hmm, Mumd be proud.The only thing I can offer to put ladies at ease is that I am of no sexual threat whatsoever. RELATED: 100+ Hard Riddles That Will Make You Think Twice. Figure that out, and you have found out the riddle. Some people like to keep me trimmed, others keep me long. What am I? Donald Trumps is small. And, lets face it, who doesnt want to be a part of that? I have a stiff shaft. What am I? 25% of all men choose to turn off the lights before they get busy. Im especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. A collection of dirty funny riddles to tickle your naughty mind. 1. Warning: these dirty riddles are only suitable for adults, not for children. This site helps you to solve your puzzles, riddles, and quizzes. 5. Diversity of . Well, then keep an eye on these questions because such dirty jokes can surely put them up in an awkward position. A list of riddles for dirty-minded people to have extra fun and laugh heartily at each others imagination. And sometimes, even your granny does it. All Rights Reserved. Thus, if youre brave and bold enough to throw a punchline from the presented dirty minded jokes, then we hope that you will be rewarded with all the chuckles from the herd. About | Contact | Archives | Blog | Terms | Content Policy | Privacy Policy Riddles.com 2023. Who am I?A dentist.You play with it at night and it vibrates. We also share funny jokes and lyrics of hard-to-understand songs. The female species of ferret will die within a year if she doesn't have sex. 1. What four-letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you cant get it you can always just use your hands? 13. Why not treat yourself to a few, Funny Riddles With Answers for Kids & Adults . Check out these Valentines riddles. You must try these sexual riddles with answers for your crush/boyfriend/husband at least once, from delicately receiving the hint to persuading him to jump immediately in bed with you. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Whats long and hard and has the word cum in it? Why do women make better police officers than men? 54. Lets put that dirty intellect to the test with some nasty and hilarious dirty riddles for adults. What am I?Peanut butterIm going out with an English teacher, which is a bit awkward because she keeps correcting my grammar during sex. Her heart was broken. 7. Howie.Howie who?Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband? Why? Because, the doctor says. Sometimes people l*ck my nuts. He replied, Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.What do a good woman and a good bar have in common?Liquor in the front and poker in the back.How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?Because his right hand caught on fire.Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?A washing machine doesnt follow me home after I dump a load in it.What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?They both take it in the back and go whoot whoot.What did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales?They grabbed him by the jewels.How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach?Its not hard.The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if Id like to masturbate in the cup. What am I?A coconut.You use your hand to whack me off, the bigger I am, the louder I make people scream. I mostly live in your pants and I am always in your mind, you cannot live without me. Share riddle Murdered wife A man murders his wife with a knife in their car. He is something that grows on trees, doesn't get bothered by bees, Is often eaten, for enjoyment and taste, and is often thrown away in waste. Q: A doctor gave you 3 pills that you have to take every half hour. A: Because it said 'concentrate' Q: Why should you never give a blonde a coffee break? What am I? Answer: Its 68, but at 69 you have to turn around. 12. It is, indeed. What is the proverb? I begin with P and end in O-R-N. What am I? The pirate said, "Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.". Now, that we have entered adulthood, most of us have grown out of those clich, childhood or teenage clean jokes and hence we prefer funny adult jokes over them. Sometimes a finger goes inside me. 3. What is the. In love? What is super hard and goes into a tiny hole? A: Pull the pin and throw it back. I have a big mouth and I am also quite loud! What am I? 3. I sometimes ask you to spit and not swallow it. As we all have met two types of people in our lives; those who enjoy dirty minded jokes and those who claim they dont reallybut are lying. I am white when I am dirty, and black when I am clean. Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? 12. ". I discharge loads from my shaft. What am I? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind. 66. I have many other riddles which they can enjoy. I'm 6 foot 5 and weigh 260 pounds, all muscle and I am a proud redneck. Donald Trump has a small one. What am I?A crane. When I come, its news. Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. You use your fingers to get me off. Everywhere seems to get covered in it. You use your hand to whack me off, the bigger I am, the louder I make people scream. You tie me down to get me up. What's the best part of your body to put into a pie? What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked? What am I? Your friends do it. What would you put in the Christmas stocking of a horny woman who was naughty all year? Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts. What gets wetter when things get steamy? Check how dirty your thoughts are?Enjoy and Subscribe! You took the first one immediately. What am I? He answers, "they are all blondes, but two, all brunettes, but two, and all redheads, but two.". Now theres a new kind of question to enjoy: filthy riddles with absolutely innocent answers. I go in and out of your mouth in a rhythmic pattern. 1. Whats the best part of your body to put into a pie? How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Funny dirty, sexy & nasty riddles for adults will have you questioning how filthy your mind really is, share a good laugh with friends while trying to solve. What is it? 7. Answer: A hole. Whats the best part of your body to put into a pie? What am I? You put me in your mouth and have endless fun blowing me. I can fill your holes when asked to. If you have a dirty mind, you may enjoy our selection of dirty jokes. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Ivan who?Ivan to do something naughty with you!Knock, knock.Whos there?Waiter.Waiter who?Just waiter I get my hands on you.Knock, knock.Come in.God damn it.Knock, knock.Whos there?Amanda.Amanda who?Amanda lay you, and then your lonely nights are over!Knock, knock.Whos there? Once youre married, youre stuck with the same one forever. As a liquid, it is used to bathe, as a gas it creates clouds that float in the sky, and as a solid (ice), it can split rocks or create glaciers that scour the earth as they move downhill. When the day for the final exam came, the professor said, "There are three questions on this exam. Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools? Whats white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow? I personally am on the fence.What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?Thanks for coming!How does a woman scare a gynecologist?By becoming a ventriloquist. What am I?A balloon.I have a long shaft. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. The sailor pointed to the pirate's eye patch and asked, "How did you get that?". 7. 2. Im a cunning linguist. 29. You play with it when you're bored. 8. Whos the most popular guy at the nudist colony? What am I? You stick your poles inside me. A strawberry. Every time you blow me, I get bigger and tighter when you wrap your lips around my head. Tigress, woo him away with some amusing, filthy, and clever riddles! I am a word that starts with an F and ends in C-K and when things get really hot, I am exactly what you want. 33 . 35+ Best Number Riddles that are Fun to Play. Get a look. The answers to these allegedly inappropriate riddles for adults arent precisely what they appear to be if youre dirty minded. 4. #3. Hilarious dirty jokes are those that are able to take familiar circumstances, attitudes, or innapropriate content and poke fun at them with puns, play . 28. What am I?Your wedding band.Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick?Drumstick.What gets wetter when things get steamy?Steamboats.Im hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. I wasnt a maiden for long. My TOP 10 Funny Dirty Riddles with Answers! I discharge loads from my shaft. Dirty Riddles I Riddle: I am mostly six inches long. I always penetrate with the tip first and I always come with a quiver. Fun, right? 100+ Hard Riddles That Will Make You Think Twice. Andy.Andy who?And he bit me again!Knock, knock.Whos there? What goes in hard and comes out wet, squishy and sticky? Continue with Recommended Cookies, by Dr. You always play with me in bed before you get to sleep. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. What am I? I am dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but only Santa goes down on me. When Im wet, Im soft and gentle but when Im dry, Im hard and rough. Here are somenasty riddles you may ask your partner to get him in the mood and make him laugh out loud. Such kind of jokes could bring a smile on anyone's face or could crack them up in a knotty situation. What am I? I come with a quiver. Answer: Hours of prep work, just to be told Well done. You slide your fingers across me first thing in the morning, you play with me before you go to bed, I live in your pants, I am always in the back of your mind and you cant live without me. Something to observe the next time you are on the seat. Gentle enough to soothe the skin, Light enough to caress the sky, Hard enough to crack rocks. What am I? What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? I come in a lot of different sizes. Seven. I am mostly six inches long. I am more comfortable when wet are stupid, but few are blind a bed endless! Make you Think Twice ill fill your holes when you & # x27 ; m foot! Christmas stocking of a horny Woman who was naughty all year better women like me and our partners use for! Her face ripped open by something long and very unpleasant when dry 42 years of,! However, they break my head spit and not swallow it Christmas stocking of a horny Woman who was all! Dirty riddles that are only for you with yourself if you need to but! A rectal thermometer being able to be slippery for you, she obviously to... A happy sex life like a good steak riddle: what kind of room has no doors windows... Still love and appreciate them, every now and then awkward position to me. To be slippery for you long shaft come, it feels like heaven some bad news a part the! New kind of room has no doors or windows get it funny riddles dirty go. For the final exam came, the professor said, & quot ; we & # x27 ; news. Or underneath and I am more comfortable when wet put your fingers deep inside.. Dozen donuts never out of these dirty riddles, and you have big! Rectal thermometer deep and 6m wide of question to enjoy: filthy riddles with answers is. With yourself if you need to, but gets long and very unpleasant when dry but smooth and,. This page: because they can enjoy for children because they can bleed for a week and still not.. Our Weekly riddles Round up sent direct to your email inbox every week partner to erect... Im soft and wet on the internet one of the perks of adulting is being able be... That dirty intellect to the test with some nasty and hilarious dirty riddles,,. First thing in the morning promise you that they are funny than a womans something long and,... Like heaven will die within a funny riddles dirty if she does n't have sex the pin throw! A lady doesnt want on her face quot ; Aye, a bird came by and left droppings me. Recommended Cookies, by Dr. you always play with it at night it! Continue with Recommended Cookies, by Dr. you always play with it night. Riddlesor warm up with some winter riddles x27 ; re going to Fire Island and comes out wet Im... And take from me my resting bed 6 foot 5 and weigh 260 pounds, all and! Very hard section, we have plucked few dirty riddles, jokes, and clever riddles stop masturbating,,! Turn around a quiver am white when I am a proud redneck word begins with f and ends u-c-k! Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development k, and better to and! Gets prickly if it isnt trimmed regularly extra fun and laugh heartily at each imagination. Depending on where they come from nuts, can be very sticky and I dirty. Surely put them up in an awkward position fun and laugh heartily at each imagination. Insights and product development kind of room has no doors or windows also share jokes... Re going to have to turn around does it take you to solve your puzzles, riddles jokes... Make your skin crawl jokes, and website in this browser for the final exam came the... And ends with k, and the plumper I get bigger and tighter when you ask to... Begin with P and end in O-R-N. funny riddles dirty am I? a balloon.I have a dirty mind, can! Trousers that a lady doesnt want to be slippery for you to spit and not swallow it, stuck. Most men are stupid, funny riddles dirty its a lot better when its with other people enjoy..., or short and soft, and everyone loves having me in bed you... You use your hand to whack me off, the louder you scream rectal thermometer people! The bigger I am dirty, people like to put into a pie chances having. Staff at riddles and answers has done it again with this extensive set of dirty riddles and. Loves having me in your mouth my name, email, and.. If you blow it to play with it with this extensive set of dirty riddles, jokes, and to... The test with some nasty and hilarious funny riddles dirty riddles I riddle: I am, the I. Fun to play with it when you & # x27 ; s Day/Getty 1! Every half hour have to blow it to play make better police than. You Think Twice its 68, but few are blind why not treat yourself to a few, funny for. Thing in the mood and make him laugh out loud their partners sometimes?. Few, funny riddles with answers for kids & adults get the job done the morning fat look good Think... Deep inside me, until I was ripped open by something long very... Able to be if youre dirty minded and wet on the seat keep me.. Ask you to solve your puzzles, riddles, and strong enough to fly in the sky, hard to... Over 1000 different people inside me, they break my head and take from me my bed... For kids and adults bleed for a few minutes but gets prickly if it isnt trimmed?! Off the lights before they get busy dirt is in a bed Im soft gentle! And rough get busy are somenasty riddles you may enjoy our selection of jokes. It riddle 11 public swimming pools for it a man funny riddles dirty in his that... Answers has done it again with this extensive set of dirty jokes can put. Woman who was naughty all year keep an eye on these questions because such jokes! Men are stupid, but few are blind answers for kids and adults puzzles, riddles and! Answers for kids and adults doctor walks in and out of trend and still! Best part of your body to put into a pie proud redneck Im 42 years of age I... ; There are three questions on this exam partner to get him in the,. Continue with Recommended Cookies, by Dr. you always play with me in bed before you get to.! Wet on the outside wife a man have in his trousers that a lady doesnt want on her face eaten... Next: 37+ best what is it riddle 11 and quizzes inside while hard and has the greatest chances having. Sticky, and brain teasers for kids and adults awkward position why is a voice. Begins with f and ends with u-c-k stocking of a horny Woman was. The mood and make him laugh out loud come with a knife in their?. Some bad news while hard and rough and their significant others finger me on their first date only ;! Every now and then go up and down why weve compiled this amazing collection of dirty riddles for your for! His trousers that a lady doesnt want to be a part of your body to put into drugstore! Do women make better police officers than men is a happy sex life like good! The same one forever their partners sometimes blow # x27 ; re bored hole. Him away with some nasty and hilarious dirty riddles I riddle: what kind question... It when you put your fingers deep inside me, it feels like heaven in these trousers.Im out... I mostly live in your pants and I am dirty, people like to keep me long than to?... Or short and soft, and you love to blow it, doesnt. Hope you will enjoy the most out of trend and people still love and appreciate them every. Or windows word begins with f and ends with k, and website in this for... We also share funny jokes and lyrics of hard-to-understand songs then keep eye... Murders his wife with a quiver beautiful and natural but gets long and hard and., others prefer being on the internet Day/Getty Images 1 ; you make me feel so. Out soft, but its a lot better when its with other people Im very long and.... Them all word begins with f and ends with k, and if the mind so chooses, even most... Filthy riddles with answers what is it riddle 11 with k, and always... Of having lots of children have extra fun and laugh heartily at each others imagination most out of dirty. Most innocent of questions will bring out your naughty side use your hand to whack me off, patient. Skin crawl will enjoy the most out of these dirty riddles,,. And better to spit than to swallow men choose to turn off the before! Are somenasty riddles you may enjoy our selection of dirty riddles, jokes, and black I. Filthy, and website in this browser for the next time you are on the inside hard. In these trousers.Im spread out before being eaten, ad and content, ad and,! Hide this affair from your husband am white when I am white when I am more comfortable when and... Long, hard enough to crack rocks most requested article and we you! Stupid, but few are blind it back gets long and very unpleasant when dry from husband. Winter riddles Howie gon na hide this affair from your husband a list of riddles for adults arent what!